Blood Memories

John looked over at Alex. She was standing at the window fully alert. She scanned over the parking lot repeatedly. She was almost guardian like. This was obviously an attempt for her to stall having to tell John everything about her. John looked at her again. He studied her. She hadn’t moved for an hour. She just got up and went to the window and stood perfectly still. The dim, pale fluorescent lights created a shadow of her body that was just as dark as the times that she was going to eventually recollect. I have to know everything else she’s kept from me. I just have to! John thought to himself. As he thought again about how she lied to him his heart ached. He felt a chill roll up his spin at the thought of what type of things her past held. He shook. Alex turned to check on him.

“Are you ok?” she asked concerned.

“I’m fine. Alex, you’re going to have to tell me eventually. You promised.”

Alex shivered at the thought. She had promised, but she didn’t think she had to deliver on it. She just figured she’d say yes and he’d go to sleep, wake up and forgot about it. You can always work some of your vamp mojo and he can “forget” that he asked. She thought. She shook off the thought. She couldn’t do that. She was going to have to tell him eventually, so she might as well get it over with.

“Alex?” John asked.

“Huh?” she responded. She slowly turned to face him and sighed. Suck it up and do it. If he leaves after this you can always kill him or make him forget. Either one is ok with us. Great, now they were giving input. Alex rolled her eyes and sat in the chair in the corner.

“What exactly do you want to know?” she asked reluctantly. John tried to sit up and groaned in pain. Alex looked at him, seeing how fragile he was made her think that this whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing was a mistake. John looked at her and smiled. Alex loved when he smiled. It made her feel, well…good.

“So are you Team Edward or Team Jacob? I assume since you’re a vampire you’re all about Team Edward.” he laughed. Alex shook her head and rolled her eyes. She never saw that coming.

“Well actually, I’m Team Jacob. Edward is too sissy for me. He sparkles! I don’t know about you but that doesn’t sit right with me. All infatuated with some girl. Ugh! Don’t get me started on Edward and the Cullens, except Alice and Emmett. I like them. Plus have you seen Jacob?!WHOA!” She ranted while she smiled. John smiled and laughed a small laugh.

“What are you over there smiling about?” she asked. John looked at her and smiled a slick, flirty smile.

“I made you smile. It’s the first time you’ve smiled since you’ve been here. It’s kind of nice.” Alex looked at him and hung her head as she felt her cheeks warm. She pulled her knees to her chest and started messing with her nails.

“What do you want to know?” she mumbled. John’s face turned serious. Now it was time to get down to business.

“How old are you?”

“I told you that before. I’ve been 21 for about 333 years.” she said as she still fiddled with her nails. John thought for a moment and then his face changed from serious to concern.

“Do you know who bit you?” he asked. Alex shook head still looking at the floor.”Was it your choice?” Alex shook her head again. John’s heart broke as he saw the slight change in her face. It pained her to think about that, and he saw it.

“How was your life before it happened?”

“It was pretty good. I was from a wealthy family. I had my brother Xander, my little brother Christian,my little sister Anastasia, and my parents. I had friends, and I even had a boyfriend. My life was together and then it was snatched from me.” Alex sighed to keep her from feeling too much about her past.

“How did it happen?”Alex‘s body stiffened. John noticed this and realized the question made her uncomfortable. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Alex looked up at him and saw that he was sincere. She looked back down at the floor and shook her head.

“No, it’s ok.” Alex said. She crossed her legs and looked up at him. “It was December 23^rd, 1632. I was helping my mom decorate the house for Christmas and we got into a fight.” Alex’s eyes started to fill with tears. She sniffled and continued. “I got angry, yelled at my mother, and stormed out into the night. It was freezing and very snowy outside. I just kept walking, and walking. I didn’t know I was in the woods until I smelled pine trees. I realized how far I was, and turned around to head back. I heard a twig snap on the side of me and looked around and saw nothing, so I kept walking. Then I heard another one and looked around and when I looked in front of me I saw crimson red eyes staring back at me deep in the darkness. I got scared, turned around and ran. I didn’t car where I went I just didn’t want it to get me. Then when I ended up in this clearing, I stopped running and thought he stopped chasing me.” Alex took a deep breath to gather herself and looked at the floor. She gulped and continued.

“I looked around and didn’t see anything. I heard another twig break and saw the eyes again. I saw a shadowy male figure step out from the woods and smile as he walked towards me. I froze and then screamed and he lunged at me and sank his teeth into my throat. I could feel him sucking on my neck as I slipped into unconsciousness.” Alex sniffled and John saw a single tear run down her cheek. There was nothing more he wanted that to leap out of the bed and console his hurting girlfriend.

“You ok Alex?” he asked sincerely. Alex looked at him and nodded. He didn’t know what to do, this was obviously upsetting her. “What happened afterwards?”

Once I regained consciousness later that night, I was dizzy and disoriented and freezing. He left me in the snow. I looked down and the pure white snow was sticky, red and tainted. There was blood everywhere, my blood.” She stressed the word ‘my’ while she choked back a sob. “I weakly made my way back home in the cold, using trees to prop me up whenever I got too weak.” She took another deep breath and paused. “When I made it home to my town I saw blood everywhere, bodies of people I knew were strewn across the ground, some in the snow, some on the roads, and some more in their houses. I rushed to my house and opened the front door. I looked down to see my entire family dead on the floor, slaughtered like livestock.”Alex shook at the thought and the image of that night crossed her mental vision.”I saw my sister, mother, and both my brothers with their throats ripped open. I turned to go back into the night for help when I heard a groan. I turned around and it was Xander. He was reaching trying to grab me from far away. I walked over to and lay next to him. I took his hand, knowing that now he was the only family had left and we both passed out. When we came to we were vampires. We cleaned the house, buried our family, and walked into the early morning with England, and our family behind us.”

“Wow, Alex. I didn’t know that that happened to you. I’d thought you were just bitten and moved on with your life.”

“Nope, I just pretended I was ok with it for Xander’s sake. He worries too much you know.” John looked out the window. He knew Xander was there in the parking lot, waiting, watching carefully to make sure nothing or no one interrupted them. John could only imagine what Xander was feeling right now.

“So when did Damien come in?” he asked. Alex looked up when she heard a small ting of hatred in his voice. Who could blame him? It was because of Damian (and herself for bringing him into this because she listened to her stupid emotions.) that he was here in the hospital. Alex sighed and continued on.

“Damian came in around June 1740, we met in Italy. Damian was cute and he seemed more comfortable with being a vampire, while Xander and I still resented who we had become. Damian was tempting and had his ways. He showed me it was ok to be who I was now, and humans, needed to fear and respect us because they were below us. Vampires were higher, better beings because we are immortal. I didn’t want to believe him; I still had faith in the human race, until that day came along.”

“What day?” John asked. He thought he sounded a little more interested than he should be.

“The day the humans betrayed me. The day I lost my faith in humanity and became a monster and just didn’t give a damn.” Alex started.

“What happened, Alex?”

“They locked me up.” She said flatly as she stared blankly at a spot on the wall.

“Who?”

“The vampire hunters.” She said still not moving her eyes from the spot on the wall. “They stormed our house one night because they followed Damian home after he killed some girl. Damian and Xander weren’t home so when they stormed the house they shot me with a silver bullet that knocked me out, and dragged me somewhere. When I finally came to I was hanging by my writs in a dark room, dark even for me, and I could hear screaming and rapid mumblings of spirits and the devil coming to murder people. I knew then where I was, I was in the insane asylum in town.” She shook at the memory. She heard a sound at the window and saw Xander in the tree by the window. He looked her in the eyes and Alex shook her head, and with that Xander was gone.

“What happened to you there? I mean, it had to be pretty bad for Xander to react like that after just a thought.” John said as he looked out the window.

“Yeah it was. They beat me, shot me, electrocuted me, and tortured me beyond all means of even a vampire’s tolerance of torture.” John raised an eyebrow and Alex knew exactly what he was thinking. “Yes vampires can feel pain. Especially after being staked numerous times and shot with silver bullets, after something like that we’re almost human. Anyway, they hated me for what I am, so they tortured me for it. They wanted to prove their “dominance” over me. One day three men came in laughing and carrying on. It was as if they were at a party. They smelled cigar smoke and wine. I will never forget that smell. One of them walked over to me and slapped me. He kissed me on the cheek and then my neck. His hot breath was on my shoulder.” Alex cringed, shook it off and continued. “My breathing started to become rapid, and then he put his hand on the waistband of my pants. I snapped. I kicked him in the balls and then snapped his neck with my legs when he was kneeling on the floor. I pulled whatever strength I had and released myself from the ropes. The other two men ran and I took that as a challenge. I ripped both of their throats open and drank ‘em both dry. When I opened the door Xander and Damian were in front of it. We walked out of the hospital into the night leaving nothing but a trail of bloodied and mangled dead bodies behind us. From that day forward I swore that humans had to pay for what they did to me, I didn’t care who they were, they were going to pay.” Alex looked at John and saw that he had a worried look on his face.

“So you were responsible for the Pacifica Mente Asylum massacre?” Alex nodded slowly.

“You must think I’m a monster huh?” she asked him shamefully.

“No, of course not Alex that was who you were, not who you are now. You were scarred, tortured, and violated. I would have done the same.” He gave her a reassuring nod and she felt as if she could continue. “What happened after that?”

“We wrecked havoc everywhere we went. We were the demonized harbingers of death, destruction, and chaos and we loved it. Eventually, Damian and I fell in love. We had a relationship full of passion, rage, and lust. It was something for the vampire ages, until I met Jacques.”

“Who was Jacques?”

“He was my first human boyfriend. We met in Paris. He really loved me. He accepted me for who I was.” Her voice started to quiver and she gulped down a large breathe of air to loosen the lump in her throat.”Damian hated that I moved on from him. We were together for 113 years, and he didn’t want that to end, especially not to a human. Damian went on a jealous rampage and killed anyone in his way, and he even convinced Xander to go along with it. Damian came to me and told me that Jacques never loved me, and that he was using me and was unfaithful. He took me to see him and I saw him hugging another woman. I couldn’t control my emotions and out of anger, took part in the blood filled rampage. When I cornered Jacques in an alley, I killed him.” Tears ran quickly down Alex’s cheek. She sniffled. “The last thing he said to me was ‘I love you’.”

“Wow , Alex.” was all John could say about what he heard. He was speechless to the fact that his girlfriend killed the one human man she loved, the same spot that he now filled in her heart. Alex looked up at John, her eyes pleading for something more to be said.

“After that I couldn’t live with what I did, so I left Xander and Damian. I traveled the world and every year visit the graves of my family, which were preserved because the massacre was famous, and my family was kind of a big deal. Xander and I marked our own graves, so people wouldn’t get suspicious. I visit my family, and then I go to Paris to visit Jacques grave. I feel like it helps me remember why I want to be good. I’ve gone to school and done the best that I could to shorten the time I spend around humans so I wouldn’t lose control. I was doing pretty well until Damian found me at school. That’s why I wasn’t there that day. I wasn’t sick, I had things to do to prepare. I don’t know what happened after that but all I know is that I have three personalities, Alex, Lexa, and Alexandria. Alexandria is the one you met and did all those horrible things back then. I tried to leave her behind, but she caught up with me. Now I’m scared that I can’t control anything and you might get hurt. I can’t take it if I lost control around you and something happened.” She looked up at John with her eyes full of tears. He motioned for her to come to him. Alex slowly walked over to him and sat next to him on the bed. She snuggled next to him and lay down. John stroked her hair and kissed her head. She felt safe, cared about, and human. What she was feeling scared her but she mentally shook it off.

“You know I’ve waited for you for over a year, you’re not going to get rid of me that easily. I don’t care about who you were in the past. I care about who you are now, that’s all that matters.” He whispered in her ear. She buried herself deeper into his embrace and decided to let the feelings of love and safety take over her as she fell asleep in John’s arms.