"Power Shift"-Playlist

"Transformed"-Playlist

This installment was inspired by the following songs:

"Transformed"

It’d been only four days since John walked out on Alex and she kept dreaming of it like it was just yesterday. In her dreams she willed herself to say it. To say that she loved John more than Jacques, or even more, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t lie to herself, how was she supposed to lie to John just to keep him? No. It wasn’t right. Even if she was able to say it and mean it, she’d still have lost him because of everything she put him through. It was her fault he almost died. It was her fault that he had a mark on his back. He even looked past the devious vampire that wanted to kill him, but John honestly couldn’t handle the fact that she had three personalities, and sadly, only 1 of them wanted him. She couldn’t blame him for leaving the way he did.

If it wasn’t for Trey she’d fall apart. He was a good friend and she never really thought of crossing that line with him, ever. She was grateful for his hospitality in letter her stay in his room. He even slept on the pullout couch. He was always looking after her. And how did she thank him? She would sneak out and go off to John’s dorm room and watch him. She didn’t know why she felt the need to still protect him, watch over him like some silent guardian, but she did, even if he didn’t want her there. A part of her ached to know if he knew she was there. She prayed for it. She wasn’t good for anyone, Trey felt a way about her that she couldn’t act on, she caused John pain, and Xander of course, he felt everything she felt and was probably going insane right now.

Alex turned in her sleep as the midday sun shone dimly through the heavy layer of curtains Trey used his star power to get. He tried his best to make it as dark as possible in his hotel suite, and Alex appreciated it. She tossed and turned again. She was dreaming again. John was screaming and she begged him to stay. The look in his eye and the sound of his voice still haunted her. She put that pain and anger there and it even followed her to her only place of sanity, her dreams. Those weren’t even immune. She rolled over once more as Trey walked into the room and stood in the doorway. He looked at her, observed her and sighed. His phone vibrated and Alex turned.

“I’m not here.” She mumbled. Trey shook his head in disapproval. He was baffled still by how she was able to hear his phone vibrate in his pocket. Trey answered the phone.

“Hey, Xander. No, she’s not with me. If I see her I’ll tell her you’re lookin’ for her. Yeah. Ok. Keep me posted.” He hung up and looked at Alex who was now sitting up and looking at him, almost snarling.

“I don’t know why you always ask him to keep you posted. You know everything. I’m right here.”

“Ok, since you have all this criticism on how I lie; how about you tell him that you’re not here when he calls?” Alex fell silent and hung her head. “Exactly, now let me do this. Plus if I don’t ask him to keep me posted he might suspect I’m lying. Wow, you being depressed has really messed you’re lyin’ game up Alex. I’m gonna need for you to get it together, I didn’t know that vampires got this sad.” He joked. Alex tossed a pillow at his head and tried to go back to sleep. All she wanted to do was sleep and write. She didn’t eat much and sleep made it hurt less.

After epically failing to go back to sleep without seeing John’s face, she decided that she needed to get her day started whatever that consisted of. She sat up and looked out the window. She couldn’t see anything so she drew back the curtains. She didn’t have the heart to tell Trey that the hotel had tempered slightly tinted windows. She looked over the city and the humans that were hustling from place to place, wishing she was one of them. If she was she could be happy and with the one whom a part of her wanted. Alex shook the thought of him from her mind and decided to head to the bathroom to take a shower.

When Alex got out of the shower she was dripping wet. Her hair was slicked back as she was wrapped up in nothing but a towel. She looked around the room. She didn’t want this. This isn’t how it was supposed to happen. Where was her happy ending? Why couldn’t she ever get what she wanted? All she wanted was love and no one was giving that to her.

“Why me? Huh? Why? What did I do to deserve this?” Alex shouted through tears as she looked up to the ceiling. She thought it’d make her feel better to blame some higher power. She thought it’d make her feel better to place a name and likeness to her plight. Overwhelmed with anger and pain Alex dropped to her knees and sobbed.

Trey knocked on the door and entered the room. He heard Alex shouting and rushed in. Alex looked up at him her eyes were filled with tears. She sniffled and was instantly in his arms. Trey tried his best to comfort her.

“It’s ok. I’m here. You’re going to be ok. I got you.” Trey whispered in her ear. Alex looked up at Trey. Their eyes locked on each other’s.

No. You can’t do this. I know you’re hurting, but imagine the aftermath.

Girl you better do it. He’s fine, and he’s right here offering himself to you. Take it.

Ignoring the back and forth going on in her head, Alex leaned in and kissed Trey. As she brought her arms up to wrap around his neck Trey pushed her off slightly. Their bodies were still close together.

“Alex. We can’t do—”

“Shhhh.” She told him as she placed a finger on his lips. “It’s ok. It’s what I want.”

“Alex-“

“Don’t fight it. Plus, you want it more than you’re putting on, so stop fighting and just give in. You’re losing this fight slowly anyway.” She said as she placed his lips on his gently. Trey pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her waist. Alex felt him getting harder as the kiss got deeper.

Trey pulled the towel off Alex and threw let it drop to the floor. He took in Alex’s body inch by inch. He couldn’t take admiring the art without touching it any longer. He ran his hands gently down her soft smooth skin. He kissed her lips again and led her to the edge of the bed. Trey sat her down and placed his hand on her chest and gently pushed her down. He kissed her neck and bit down gently. Alex let out a small moan. Now she knew how it felt for someone else to be doing the biting. Trey made his way down to her breasts and took one of her nipples in his mouth. Alex sighed as he flicked his tongue against her nipple. She was feeling something before that she never felt before. Lust? Pure sexual energy? She was trying to figure out what she was feeling until Trey made it down between her thighs. Alex arched her back as she felt his tongue enter her. She instantly grabbed the sheets. Trey took his tongue out of her and flicked it against her soft spot. Alex moaned louder as she grinded her hips against his tongue.

Just as she was about to go over, Trey stopped suddenly. She let out a low growl of frustration. Trey went to take off his wife beater. Alex thought he was taking too long and slashed her fingernail against his shirt ripping it down the middle. Trey giggled as he picked her up and laid her in the bed. He slid his basketball shorts and Alex’s legs found their way around his waist. Alex let out a slight moan when she felt Trey enter her.

Trey started to move his hips slowly. Alex wrapped her arms around his shoulder as she took him in deeper. Trey sped up the pace of his movements as his hips went in circles. Alex’s body instantly responded as it shivered. Trey was hitting all the spots and taking her to a place she had never been before.

Now it’s your turn to take over. He made you feel good now return the favor.

Alex turned them both over so she was on top. She slowly rode Trey. She looked down at him and saw his eyes roll back into his head with every sway of her hips against him. Trey grunted and grabbed Alex’s waist as he went deeper into her. Alex sped up and Trey went crazy. They were both close to climaxing, she could feel it. Alex moaned loudly and was about to reach completion. She grabbed the headboard and brought herself closer to Trey. She sniffed his neck and went crazy. As she was on the climax she bit into Trey’s neck. As the blood entered her mouth and slid down her throat she climaxed. She sucked harder as she rode it out her orgasm and felt Trey climax as well.

Alex sat up and rolled over her chest heaving from all the hard work she had put in. She licked around her mouth and tasted the blood. She looked at Trey. He looked so peaceful. She looked at the sheets and saw blood. She quickly looked at Trey’s neck. She saw the bite marks.

“Where did those come from?” she said out loud. Trey didn’t look dead. She checked his pulse he was still alive…barely. She quickly got dressed and called 911.

“9-1-1 what is our emergency?” the dispatcher asked in a thivk New York accent.

“I need help. My friend, something’s happened to him. He’s bleeding pretty bad and his pulse is weak. Please send help!” Alex cried frantically.

“Ok ma’m we’ll send someone out right away. Where is your location?”

“He’s in the Hudson Hotel on the top floor. Suite 822. Please hurry.”

“Ok ma’m help is on the way.”

Alex immediately hug up the phone. She called from the hotel so it’d be easier for her to leave out without being seen. She put on her clothes and redressed Trey. She then decided that she had to make herself unseen. She kissed Trey and whispered in his ear.

“I’ll see you at the hospital. I’m so sorry.” She said as a tear fell on his cheek. She silently and invisibly exited the hospital. Alex found her bike right where she’d left it. She put on her helmet and rode off to the only place she could go…home.

Xander stood in the driveway as if he was waiting for her.

“I knew you’d come back eventually.” He snarled at her. “Of all the people in the world you had to sleep with the only one that gave a damn about you. Why are you here? What happened?”

“What are you going on about? Trey and I had sex, it was good, and then I bit him. Problem?” she said smartly.

“And you just left him there?”

“No! I called the ambulance and left as soon as possible. If I would’ve stayed they would’ve suspected me and I can’t have that!” she looked at Xander and he knew she wasn’t sorry. She didn’t regretted sleeping with Trey, but she did regret that she left him there. Xander looked in her eyes and saw it. Alex had checked out and Alexandria took her place.

“So the blood sucking was your idea huh?” he asked with his arms crossed.

“Yeah and it was good. There’s nothing better than the blood of your lover to send you into the best climax you’ve ever had.” She laughed.

Alexandria pushed past Xander and made her way to her room. She took a quick shower and looked in her closet. She picked out a black low cut v-neck t-shirt with a plaid Playboy bunny on the front. She grabbed her short pink and black plaid mini skirt and some black leggings. She put on her skirt and put on some thigh high black leather lace-up boots. As Alexandria was tying her boots up she heard Xander yelling. She raced downstairs and laughed.

“What’s all this screaming for?” she asked. Xander moved and she saw Damian standing in the doorway. Alexandria smiled and walked past Xander.

“Let’s go.” She said flatly.

“Go where?” Damian asked.

“I’m sick of being here with all the goody-two-shoes. I need to be somewhere where I can be me and not have to hide like a coward.” She hissed. As she made her way out the door Xander grabbed her arm.

“Lex, don’t do this. Stay here with us and I can help you.”Xander begged. Alexandria looked down at Xander’s hand with disgust. She snatched her arm away and marched out. She climbed into her car with Damian following close behind. As she pulled out the driveway and sped off, it hit him. Alex was gone and there was no telling when she’d come back. She was lost inside her own pain. He had to get himself ready for what was to come. He might have to fight his own sister. Xander looked up at the sky trying to gather himself together. He was ready now. Now the only question was, was the rest of the world?

"Broken Secrets"-Playlist

This installment was inspired by the following songs:

"Broken Secrets"

Alex stirred in her sleep. She was having the same nightmare. She was standing in the middle of the field. She knew what was going to happen next. She mentally braced herself for the attack, but it didn’t happen. She looked around the darkness and she saw him. She had waited for him as fear and anger consumed her being. He moved forward to her. Closer and closer he walked to her. His face was a blur, even when he stood in front of her, nothing. Alex took in a shaky breath as he began to speak.

“Hello Alexandria.” He greeted calmly.

“Hello.” She responded back in a small whisper. Who was he?

“Who I am is not important. It’s what I’m here to tell you that is.”

“And that would be what?”

“Things are not over. They’re just beginning. There’s more to this than just Damian. Those that you love may not be there, or alive to help you. Be careful Raindrop.” He brushed his hand across her cheek and walked away. Raindrop? Only one person called her Raindrop.

“Daddy! Wait! Daddy!” she screamed after him. She wanted to run to him. She willed herself so, but she stood there stuck, as if she was nailed to the ground. She felt a breath on the back of her neck. Alex quickly turned around to see Damian. She scowled at him.

“Now, now love. This is your dream. I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to do.” He said calmly. Alex’s body loosened a bit and she stared at him. She had forgotten how handsome he was. He was dressed in a black suit with pinstripes with a white button down and fresh all black Air Force Ones. She forgot he dressed well too. She was remembering why she fell in love with him, before he turned into a blood sucking, murderous monster. Just as she was remembering their life together she heard the snow giving way to someone’s weight. She turned to look at who it was and almost fell to her knees. Her breath quickened as well as her heart as Jacques emerged from the darkness to the right of her. His tall and muscled physique was just as she remembered. His caramel skin almost shone in the moonlight. Now she knew she was dreaming.

Jacques made his way towards her. Damian stepped back and stood in a fighting stance. They always butted heads in reality, so acting this way in a dream wasn’t too far of a stretch. She turned to face him once she felt him close to her. Jacques took her into a hug and kissed her lips gently. She sighed as he pulled her body closer to him. She missed him so much. She inhaled his scent and then realized, this was all a dream. Alex snapped out of her moment and looked at Jacques.

“You’re dead. This can’t be real. This will never be real.” She cried. Jacques wiped the tears from her face.

“I may not be on this earth physically anymore, but I still come to you when your heart calls out to me. I’m always around you. I told you, I’d love you forever and beyond.” He whispered in her ear. His French accent wasn’t as thick and annoying as other French people. His was nice and pleasing and very seductive.

“Oh please. Let’s not forget she ripped your throat out and left you for dead in an alley. Plus she never loved you. She’s always loved me. We just had a small spat, didn’t we love?” Damian said slyly. He always thought he owned her, but Alex had to admit to that she had loved him and a part of her still did. Her thoughts of Jacques and what they shared were interrupted by the breaking of a twig. She released herself from Jacques’ embrace and looked to her left to see John. Her heart skipped a beat. She walked over to him and hugged him. John hugged her back and looked deep into her eyes.

“Alex, I love you.” He whispered to her.

“I love you too.”

“I need you to choose.” After he said that John, Jacques, and Damian stood in front of her. She fell to her knees and grabbed her head in frustration. When she opened her eyes Alexandria stood in front of Damian, while Lexa stood in front of Jacques and Alex stood in front of John. She stepped back as she saw herself times three looking at the three men she desired.

“Choose” they all said in unison. “You have to choose.”

Alex shot up out of her sleep. She was struggling to breathe. She looked over at her open window. Without even a thought she jumped out of it and landed softly on the ground. She looked around and took a deep breath. The cool crisp air filled her lungs. She exhaled and her mind went into a crazed frenzy.

“There’s nothing wrong with me.” She said to herself over and over again.

You dreamed of our dad and Jacques. I’m sorry sweetie but there is seriously something wrong with you. Bitch, suck it up and get it together.

Damn straight there’s nothing wrong with us. We all know whose fault this is. Damian has to die.

Her other personas argued with each other. She’s been having that dream for almost a week now, ever since she thought she saw Jacques. Her dad came to her in a dream for the first time, and came with a warning. The men she loved asked her to choose as her personas stood in front of the ones they admired. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t take this anymore.

“Something’s got to give! I can’t take it. All the arguing, violence, and death has to stop. I can’t take it anymore!” she screamed. She fell to her knees and started to breathe heavily.

“You know love; if you continue to scream at yourself people are going to assume you’re crazy.”

She knew this voice. Her stomach turned to ice at the sound of his voice. Alex gathered herself and stood up to face Damian as he stood in front of her.

“What are you doing here Damian?” she asked icily.

“Easy babe, I’m never too far away. I stay close unless you decide to change and give up this ridiculous charade of being humane.” He smiled slickly. Every word he spoke was drenched in evil, slick, sweet and seductive.

“Well you can forget it! I’m not ever going to go back to who I was. I hate who I was, and I hate you!”

No you don’t.

“No you don’t” he said slickly. He didn't know it, but it was in unison with the peanut gallery in her head. Alex hated this. She couldn’t love him. He was a monster! The devil incarnate even. She couldn’t love that. It was John she truly wanted, Damian just refused to make himself scarce.

You have to give it to him the nigga is persistent. Mmmm. Now I remember why I loved him. The sex was amazing as well.

Eww. Nobody wants to remember that but you, you trollop.

Alex shook off the thought as Alexandria tried to replay the memory. When Alex looked up, Damian was in front of her. He grabbed her by her waist and pulled her to him. Alex’s body went into a state of chaos. She was feeling things she hadn’t felt in a long time. Her body yearned for him as she made a mental note of every single inch of him. Alex snapped out of herself and realized what was happening. She pushed herself away from Damian and looked at him. She composed herself and glared at him.

“What do you want Damian? My life is screwed up enough without you feeling as if you need to drop in on me and drive me up a wall.” Damian smiled a devilish yet sexy smile.

“Up a wall you say? You still want me. A part of your mind does and your body; well we both know what it wants.” Damian said smoothly. He could talk a nun out of her panties and have her swinging from a chandelier in a church if he wanted to. Actually he had, once. Xander walked out of the house to see what was wrong with Alex. He glared at Damian and growled a low growl. Alex looked quickly at Xander and continued to speak.

“Damian, it’s cute that you still think I want you at all.” Alex lied. She tried to cover it up with a laugh.

“Whatever. I’m not here for that. I’m here for something else. I’m looking for something…someone.” He sounded concerned.

“Well I haven’t seen anyone, so goodbye and go die.” Alex said. Her words dripped with hate and disgust. Then the wind blew. The cool breeze brushed against her hair, causing it to sway slightly. Alex sniffed the air. She smelled it again. That same smell she smelled a week ago. The smell she smelled when she thought she saw Jacques on the beach. It was back. Alex looked around first at Xander, then Damian, and finally focused on a male shaped figure that was walking toward her. Alex looked at Damian.

“I think who you’ve been looking for has been following me.”

“I’m sure he has. He’s very interested in your whereabouts, Alex.” He said with a slight smile.

“And what does he want with me? I don’t do stalkers. They’re not my type.” She said looking over her shoulder as the figure stopped in the darkness. Proud of telling Damian and his “friend” off she turned to walk into the house.

“It’s not stalking if the person is someone who has something of yours.” Alex stopped dead in her tracks. That voice. It wasn’t Damian’s voice. It was the voice of another.

“And what is it that I have that happens to belong to you?” She asked carefully with her back to him. She felt him staring at her, hell she felt him on her. He stood directly behind her.

“My heart.” He said into her ear. Alex pinched her thigh to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. This had to be a dream. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. Her heartbeat quickened and her breathing did as well. Alex looked at Xander. The expression on his face indicated that this wasn’t a dream.

“And how long have I had your heart?” she asked as her voice quivered. Her throat went dry as she felt him take her hand and pull her closer to him.

“123 years.” His words spun inside Alex’s head, making her dizzy. It couldn’t be. She had to be sure. She slowly turned to face him. As soon as she smelled him she knew it was all true. Alex looked him in the eyes and her knees weakened.

“Jacques?” she asked as she placed her hand on his cheek. He nodded as he held her hand. They were both making sure that this whole thing was real.

“How is this possible? I killed you. You were dead.” She said as she immediately hung her head in shame. Jacques placed his finger under her chin and lifted her head to look at him. Her eyes were wide as they were filled with tears. One tear escaped and rolled down her cheek as it glistened in the moonlight. Jacques pulled her to him and embraced her. She took in his smell and it felt just like before. Before Damian lied, before she “caught” him, before that day. Something was off. Jacques wasn’t warm anymore, he was cold. He felt as if he was a statue. She pushed herself away from him. There was fear and shock in her eyes.

“You’re a vampire aren’t you?” she asked fearfully. Jacques nodded. “Who turned you?”

“That would be me.” Damian said evilly as he stepped forward as if he was presenting a project. That’s exactly what Jacques was…a project. “I did pretty well huh, Alex?”

“No! You turned a sweet, kind, loving man into a monster just like the rest of us! Why would you do this Damian? WHY?!” she cried. Her perfect Jacques wasn’t that anymore. He’s killed people, she was sure of it. No way he rolls with Damian and doesn’t feed on humans. She thought.

“Revenge.”

“What? On who? Me?” Damian laughed.

“Not everything is about you my dear. It was revenge on him. He was supposed to suffer and live for all eternity without you. If I couldn’t have you no one could. He wasn’t supposed to find you, but I couldn’t stay away and he followed me to you one day.” Damian explained.

“When?” Xander asked as he stepped forward to comfort his sister.

“When she left him to die, I found him in that alley way dying and let him feed from me. I was secretly teaching him how to be a vampire right behind your back. While you grieved and blamed yourself for his death he was no more than two towns over at all times.” Damian laughed devilishly. Anger built up inside of her. He kept him from her for 120 years! He needed to suffer now. Her anger boiled over as she lunged at him. Jacques grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him again.

“Alex my love, I guarantee you I am no monster. I do not feed on humans. I never have. I swear to you. Damian told me how angry you were with yourself when you thought I was dead. I never wanted to put anyone else through that pain.” His words soothed her, like they had always done. She gently pushed herself away from him.

“Jacques, as excited I am to see you, I can’t be with you.” She said.

“Why not?” he asked with hurt in his eyes. The same hurt was heard in his voice.

“Because of the human guy, John, that’s why. She loves him.” Damian said spitefully. Jacques looked down at her, the hurt growing in his eyes as she nodded slowly.

“I do.” She said softly. Jacques placed a fake smile on his face.

“Very well then. You will always have my heart, Alex. I will wait for you, no matter how long that takes.” He kissed her hand and disappeared into the night.

“Yeah right! I’ll get you first.” Damian laughed and followed after Jacques.

Alex turned to face Xander. She didn’t even have to say anything. He already knew. Now she was conflicted, angry, betrayed, confused. She was all over the place and it was exhausting. She raced up to her room, she needed to be alone. Her mind raced at a mile a minute as she sat in the dark. This wasn’t happening to her. It couldn’t be. Everything was happening to her all at once. She couldn’t take it and started to cry. She laid her head on her pillow and cried herself to sleep.

The next morning she awoke to Xander knocking on her door. She slipped on her Jack Skellington slippers and opened the door.

“Lex, we need to talk.” He said as Alex made her way back to her bed. He closed the door behind him. They both sat and looked at each other.

“Speak.” She said flatly.

“So Jacques is really back huh?” Alex nodded without looking at him. How could she forget? His scent was still on her skin. “So what are you going to do?”

“Nothing. He’s rolling with Damian now. There’s no telling how he is now.”

“He sounds the same to me, but then again he’s been with Damian this whole time. Do you still love him?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours since he popped back up into my life. I haven’t even processed that he’s still alive.”

“What about John? Do you love him?”

“Of course I do. I think. Ugh! Why me? Why does my life have to be so hard?” she asked angrily. “I need to eat. I’m going downstairs.” She said as she got up. She went to the door and opened it. John stood there with an angry look on his face, his eyes looking as if they were filling with tears.

“So Jacques is alive huh?” he asked angrily. Alex nodded slowly. “Do you still love him?” Alex shrugged. “Do you love me?” Alex hung her head and sighed. “That’s all I needed to hear.”

“John wait! I do!” she yelled after him as he ran off. She ran after him and cut him off at the stairs.

“Move.” He said coldly. Alex looked down to see his duffle bag next to him on the floor.

“You’re leaving?” her voice quivered more than she intended for him to hear.

“Well you don’t know if you love me or him. Your first vampire ex boyfriend wants me dead. He kidnaps me and almost kills me and not once have I doubted how I feel about you!” he yelled.

“How do you feel? Tell me!” she didn’t mean to yell but he was cutting deep.

“I LOVE YOU! I always have! Why else would I stay around through all this shit?! But since you don’t know how you feel, I’m out!” He pushed past her angrily. She had no choice but to let him go.

“John, don’t go!” she cried. John stopped right in front of the front door. He turned to face her.

“Do you love me?”

“Yes!” Alex yelled.

“Like you love Jacques?” Silence fell upon the room. “Answer me!” he yelled.

“That’s not fair.” She whispered.

“What’s not fair? You either love me like you do him or not. So, do you love me like you love Jacques?” Alex hung her head. “That’s all I needed to hear. Goodbye Alex. Have a nice life!” he said as he headed out to his car. Now Alex regretted driving him from the hospital in his own car. She tried to run after his car until Xander stopped her. What was she going to do if she caught him? She saw the anger and pain in his eyes. She still didn’t know what she wanted, she just knew she wanted John there to help her figure it out. She ran back in the house tears streaming down her face.

“Lex?” Xander asked concerned. He worried for his sister. He could feel what she was feeling and a tear fell from his eye. He looked down at Alaska. His ears perked up and he whimpered.

“No one should ever feel that way. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy,” he told him as he heard the door slam.

A few hours passed and Alex sat on the roof with John’s jacket. It was all she had left of him. She held it as she cried and looked onto the horizon.

You should’ve just told him you loved him.

Girl bye! Fuck all that! You need to suck that shit up and move on! He was human! He was going to die eventually! I say we go eat him, but that’s me.

Alex swung into the room that only hours ago belonged to John. She curled up in his bed and just laid there crying. He was gone and not coming back.

***

It’d been a whole week since John left. Alex still hadn’t moved from that same spot. She wouldn’t let Xander in the room saying he’d taint the smell of the room. Everything from the air to his sheets still smelled of him. It was all she had left of him. She couldn’t take being here, but she didn’t want to leave. She reached into her pocket and grabbed her cell phone. She pressed ‘3’ on her speed dial. The phone rang and went straight to voicemail.

Hey, you’ve reached John. I’m not able to come to the phone right now so please leave your name, a message, and you number and I’ll get back to you.

He sounds happy. I remember when he made that message. She thought to herself. She grabbed her phone and pressed ‘4’ on her speed dial. The other line began to ring. Someone picked up.

“Hey baby girl. What’s up?”

“Hey Trey.” She sniffled.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“John and I broke up. It was really bad.” She began to cry.

“Aww baby girl. It’s going to be ok. You need anything? I know how you felt about him..”

“Are you in town?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’m gonna be here for about a week. I have a video to shoot and then a show. You wanna stay with me while I’m here?” He always had a way of knowing exactly what she wanted.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind, I need a change of scenery.” She sniffled again.

“Well I’ll be where I usually am in about an hour. So get dressed and shower ‘cause you’re not stinkin’ up my room, pack some clothes and drive on over. Ok?”

“Ok.” Alex sniffled. “Thanks Trey. You’re a good friend.”

“No problem baby girl. I’d do anything for you, you know that. See you soon.” Alex hung up the phone with Trey. He always knew how to make her feel a little better. She was still broken inside but Trey made it hurt just a little less. That’s what she loved about him. She got up and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy, her hair was all over the place, and her nose was swollen from crying so much. She looked like hell. Alex walked into what was John’s bathroom and took a shower. She wrapped herself up in his towel and walked over to her room and got dressed. She packed her bag and put on John’s jacket. She had to have something of his close to her at all times, and his jacket was the only thing she had left. Alex walked out her room and headed for the door. Xander stood in front of it, blocking her way outside.

“Lex, you’re not going anywhere.” He said commandingly. Alex sighed,

“Move out the way Xander, I’m leaving. Now move voluntarily or I will be forced to do it myself. I’m stronger than you are.” She said in a low voice.

“I’m not letting you leave like this. You just can’t leave.”

“I need to get my head together and I can’t do it here. Not when his room is next to mine.” She began to cry again. Alaska brushed against her leg; she bent down to pet him.

“I’ll be back in a bit boy. Ok? I love you.” She looked up at Xander. “Love you too.” With those being her last words she headed towards the garage. She put on her helmet and mounted her motorcycle. Keeping her destination mentally hidden from Xander she rode off towards the city. As the scenery sped past her, she thought about everything. Xander. Damian. Jacques. She thought of her family, her life up until now and of course John. Her life was falling apart around her. She couldn’t handle it anymore, her only piece of sanity and consistency was still thirty minutes and counting away. One tear escaped her eye as she rode towards the city. When would the pain stop? When could she be happy again? She didn’t know. Hell, she didn’t know anything. One thing she did know for sure was; she’s never felt deader inside than she did the day he walked out her life with her heart in his hand.

"Hidden"-Playlist

This installment was inspired by the following songs:

"Hidden"

A week had passed and John was released from the hospital. He was still a little beat up and Alex thought this was the perfect time to play doctor. She decided that John would be safer at her house where she could watch him closely, and keep him safe. She never showed anyone where she lived before, especially anyone that wasn’t already dead (vampire wise that is).

It was a clear cool night outside so Alex went out to clear her mind. She had a lot going on right now and she didn’t know how to handle it. She swooped from the roof over to John’s window. He was sleeping peacefully. He always looked that way when he slept, until he’d mumble something about Damian. He probably was going to need therapy after dealing with her. But how is someone going to help him when he tells the he was attacked by a vampire because he was with his ex-girlfriend, who was also a vampire, along with her twin brother? Alex smiled at the thought of John being hauled away to a loony bin for telling the truth. Mental institutions usually scared her, but this time it was kind of funny. She imagined John looking like the Riddler at the end of Batman Forever, rocking back and forth saying “Vampires do exist! My girlfriend and her brother are vampires. They have fangs and drink blood through crazy straws!”She laughed again. John stirred in his sleep. Alex listened closely. He was quiet. She breathed a sigh of relief and continued to watch him. Her heart belonged to him now, whether she liked it or not. Realizing this, questions swam through her mind. Is this the right thing to do? No. ? Yes Can she love him without hurting him? No, I wanna eat him. Yes. ?. Did she really love him? Yes. No. ? Her inner debate with herself was interrupted when John rolled over in his sleep.

“I can feel you staring at me you know.” He said eyes still closed. Alex smiled and climbed quickly to the roof. John opened his eyes and looked to where Alex and crouched. Nothing was there. He smiled as Xander walked into the room. He looked serious and concerned. He grabbed a chair from the desk and sat down. For what seemed like the longest minute on record, they just stared at each other. Xander broke the silence first.

“You know there’s more to all of this than what she’s telling you, right?” John looked at the floor.

“Yeah, I kind of figured that. She seemed like she was hiding something from me, but who am I to ask?” he questioned in a low voice. He almost sounded hurt.

“I think its best that she didn’t. She’s not stable enough to tell you something like that.”

“Something like what?” John asked concerned. Alex was hiding something from him and he didn’t know if he really wanted to hear it.

“Something like she has three different personalities.” Xander said calmly. John’s eyes widened.

“What? What do you mean?”

“I mean that she can be one of three people. Alex-the nice/good girl you know. Alexandria-the bad and evil girl she used to be, and possibly wants to kill you, and Lexa-the girl that’s a little bit of both.”

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked.

“I want you to know who she is. You claim you care for her, you’re going to have to accept her for everything.”

“I’ve accepted that she was a vampire. Is that enough?” Xander shook his head.

“You just accepted that she’s a vampire with a troubled past, and just discovered she could change into a whole different person fairly quickly. Are you able to handle all of that?” Xander asked. John didn’t answer. He actually had to think about this. He cared for Alex, but was this too much?

Alex stood on a branch high on a pine tree in her yard. It overlooked the lake. She liked to think there when the roof just didn’t feel right. The debate within her from before continued.

You can’t have him and be who you are. You’re a vampire and he’s a human. Look at what happened already. It’s bound to happen again Alex. Thin k about it. Remember Jacques. Soon you won’t be able to control yourself and end up killing him anyway. You can only survive so long as his blood tortures you with each passing day.

You can be with him. You did it before with Jacques. Yes, you killed him, but not because of your hunger, but because of your temper. Plus Damian manipulated you.

As her different personas battled, a cool breeze brushed past her and Alex shivered. Alex sniffed the air around her. Something’s not right. She thought to herself. She sniffed the air again. It smelled different. It didn’t smell crisp and of damp soil and leaves. Something smelled wrong. It felt wrong. It was just wrong. Just all out wrong. Alex gathered herself and headed back to the house. She could hear that John was talking to Xander. She scaled the house and swung into John’s open window. She landed in the middle of the room and slowly stood up as she felt the room out. Xander and John looked at each other, and then at Alex.

“What’s wrong Lex?” Xander asked first.

“Yeah, what’s wrong? You look guarded.” John asked. Alex looked down at the floor and closed her eyes. Her breathing got heavier and sped up. She raised her head; eyes still closed and sniffed the air. Alex brought her head back down and opened her eyes. One of her eyes was crimson red, the other deep honey brown. Alex had left the building and left Lexa in her place.

“Something’s not right.” Lexa said coldly. She turned to look at John. He stared at her. Lexa was something new to him since he really didn’t get to experience her presence at the warehouse. He wanted to say something, but decided against it. Instead he looked at her as if he could read her thoughts. He looked deep into her eyes and saw Alex, his Alex. He didn’t know if he could handle this, but he knew he had to try, if not for him, than at least for the woman who carried his heart.

Lexa looked at John again and nodded her head. She shot a look at the window, and was gone with a flash. John and Xander raced to the window to see if they could see her. They searched for something in the dark and a saw a shadow bouncing from tree to tree. It was Lexa; she was heading down towards the beach on the other side of the road in front of the house. They watched her until she was completely out of sight. Xander turned around and headed for the door. He stopped before he hit the hallway and looked at John.

“Are you sure you can handle this?” he asked again. John said nothing. He just shrugged his shoulders and sat on the bed staring out the window. Xander turned to walk into the hallway.

“I’ll just have to try.” he said before Xander left. Was he really able to handle this or was he just lying to himself to keep Alex. He accepted she was a vampire, she was a good guy. Alexandria? Not so much. And Lexa was an enigma wrapped in a puzzle and candy coated with a question. He had a lot to think about as he looked into the darkness.

Lexa jumped from the tree and land gently on the cool soft sand on the beach. She looked around…nothing. Why was she pulled here? She took off her shoes and walked along the shoreline, water crashing over her feet as she walked, her eyes constantly scanning the beach. She got the sudden feeling that she was being watched. Lexa quickly turned around and saw a shadowy figure of a man. She couldn’t make out who it was in the pitch black of night. She stared some more. Damian. She thought. She crouched low to the sand, ready to attack if need be. The figure walked toward her, and she let out a low growl. This figure moved closer. Fangs bared, fists balled, she growled again as he moved closer into the moonlight. She was ready to attack as everything that Damian put her through in the past few weeks replayed in her head. He stepped into the moonlight and Lexa gasped. She had seen this face before. She knew this face once upon a time. The face that looked back at her wasn’t Damien’s, it was another.

“Jacques?” she asked with a quiver in her voice. Lexa closed her eyes, and when she opened them again he was gone. Had Jacques really been standing there? She shook her head. It couldn’t have been. Alexandria killed him over a century ago. This was impossible. An eerie feeling overcame her and she shivered. There was only one way to prove to herself that she was imagining things. Lexa walked over to the spot where he stood and saw not one single footprint. She sniffed the air around her; it smelled the same as before. Was she losing what was left of her mind? She must have been if she thought she saw Jacques standing in front of her not too long ago. Lexa ran her fingers through her long jet black hair.

There’s no way that you saw him. There’s just no possible way.

Of course there’s no way! I killed him a long time ago. Trust me; he was dead when I left him.

Lexa ran back towards the house. She had to get down to the bottom of this. Maybe she was sleep deprived. She had been looking after John for a while, surviving off small cat naps. She hadn’t been eating too well either. She had a blood pouch every now and then, but that wasn’t nearly enough. As she ran back to the house she ran every possible reason of why she didn’t see what, or who she thinks she saw.

When she reached her house she jumped into her open bedroom window. A loud thud echoed throughout the house. Xander rushed into her room to see what was going on.

“What wrong Lex?”

“Something’s not right.” She said calmly.

“I know, you said that earlier. Something else is wrong, I feel it. Spill.” Lexa closed her eyes. She’s never been this rattled before in her life. Had she seen a ghost, or had it been her imagination playing tricks with her mind?

“I think I saw Jacques. Or I didn’t see him. I don’t know what I saw, but I saw him.” She whispered frantically. Xander looked at her as if she was crazy.

“Jacques? I hate to tell you, but he’s dead. He’s been dead. You just imagined it. There’s no way you saw him. You need some rest. Lay down.” Xander directed her. He left the room and the internal debate between personas began.

There he goes being the big brother again.

Oh please! He’s always been that way. We’re only apart by five minutes. Plus rest is for the weak. We have things to figure out.

Maybe he’s right. We have stretched ourselves fairly thin these past few weeks. Between school and Damien we haven’t rested well. Let’s eat and then rest up. We can figure out the rest later.

Eat? You mean those latex abominations you call blood? Please! Don’t be pathetic. We need REAL blood. Fresh blood and we have some right next door.

Shut up Alexandria! No one is going to hurt John. You may not care for him but we do.

The both of you shut up! This is exhausting. We’re not going to hurt John. It’s my turn to bat and I’m getting some blood from the fridge and I’m going to bed. WE need the rest.

No need to go downstairs. There’s a mini fridge over there in the corner.

Lexa looked and saw it. She nodded as her mouth began to water. She walked over to the fridge and picked a pouch of B-. She smiled at the irony of her choice. She placed the pouch into the microwave and watched it as it rotated slowly on the carousel. She grabbed her favorite blue crazy straw and removed the pouch from the microwave. Lexa slowly made her way to the bed. She stabbed the straw into the pouch and began to drink. As soon as she swallowed her first sip she could feel the blood’s energy spread throughout her body, warming and relaxing it. By the time the pouch was a quarter full she started to drift. Finish it! They told her. Instead of using her energy o drink through the straw, she ripped the pouch open with her teeth and gulped down the last of it. As that last drop hit her tongue, she lay down and closed her eyes. As she was about to drift away, there was a knock at the door.

“Come in.” she said sleepily. John walked into the room. Lexa looked up at him and laid her head back onto her pillow.

“Xander told me about you needing some rest. Thought you could use some company.” He said as he walked onto the other side of her bed. John climbed into bed with her. He laid next to her and wrapped his arm around her. She looked like Alex. She smelled like Alex, but she wasn’t. She was like this Alex hybrid. Could he trust her? Could he love her? John’s heartbeat quickened, and his body stiffened. Lexa took notice.

“John, I’m not going to bite you. Obviously, you knew that because you’re all cuddled up with me. You know who I am. It’s ok, relax. Your heartbeat is keeping me awake. Lexa buried herself into John as she tried to go back to sleep.

“Maybe this won’t be so hard.” He whispered.

“It’s not as complicated as you’re trying to make it. Now let me sleep.” Those were the last words Lexa spoke before she drifted off to sleep. John turned on the T.V. while Lexa slept in his arms.

***

Damian looked angrily at Alex’s window. He’d been there the entire time, hiding, spying.

“You think you may have won this time mortal, but she will be mine again, even if I have to kill you to do it.” He snarled at the window. He looked to the left of him. We will have out revenge, that’s what I turned you for in the first place. I need you, and you’re going to help me. We were enemies and now we are partners.” He spoke to the person next to him.

“When do we strike Damian?” he asked.

“Soon.” Damian said. “Soon my friend. Now let us leave, we have things to plan and havoc to wreak.” He smiled sinisterly as he and the other sped off into the shadows of the night with the moonlight guiding their way.

Blood Memories

John looked over at Alex. She was standing at the window fully alert. She scanned over the parking lot repeatedly. She was almost guardian like. This was obviously an attempt for her to stall having to tell John everything about her. John looked at her again. He studied her. She hadn’t moved for an hour. She just got up and went to the window and stood perfectly still. The dim, pale fluorescent lights created a shadow of her body that was just as dark as the times that she was going to eventually recollect. I have to know everything else she’s kept from me. I just have to! John thought to himself. As he thought again about how she lied to him his heart ached. He felt a chill roll up his spin at the thought of what type of things her past held. He shook. Alex turned to check on him.

“Are you ok?” she asked concerned.

“I’m fine. Alex, you’re going to have to tell me eventually. You promised.”

Alex shivered at the thought. She had promised, but she didn’t think she had to deliver on it. She just figured she’d say yes and he’d go to sleep, wake up and forgot about it. You can always work some of your vamp mojo and he can “forget” that he asked. She thought. She shook off the thought. She couldn’t do that. She was going to have to tell him eventually, so she might as well get it over with.

“Alex?” John asked.

“Huh?” she responded. She slowly turned to face him and sighed. Suck it up and do it. If he leaves after this you can always kill him or make him forget. Either one is ok with us. Great, now they were giving input. Alex rolled her eyes and sat in the chair in the corner.

“What exactly do you want to know?” she asked reluctantly. John tried to sit up and groaned in pain. Alex looked at him, seeing how fragile he was made her think that this whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing was a mistake. John looked at her and smiled. Alex loved when he smiled. It made her feel, well…good.

“So are you Team Edward or Team Jacob? I assume since you’re a vampire you’re all about Team Edward.” he laughed. Alex shook her head and rolled her eyes. She never saw that coming.

“Well actually, I’m Team Jacob. Edward is too sissy for me. He sparkles! I don’t know about you but that doesn’t sit right with me. All infatuated with some girl. Ugh! Don’t get me started on Edward and the Cullens, except Alice and Emmett. I like them. Plus have you seen Jacob?!WHOA!” She ranted while she smiled. John smiled and laughed a small laugh.

“What are you over there smiling about?” she asked. John looked at her and smiled a slick, flirty smile.

“I made you smile. It’s the first time you’ve smiled since you’ve been here. It’s kind of nice.” Alex looked at him and hung her head as she felt her cheeks warm. She pulled her knees to her chest and started messing with her nails.

“What do you want to know?” she mumbled. John’s face turned serious. Now it was time to get down to business.

“How old are you?”

“I told you that before. I’ve been 21 for about 333 years.” she said as she still fiddled with her nails. John thought for a moment and then his face changed from serious to concern.

“Do you know who bit you?” he asked. Alex shook head still looking at the floor.”Was it your choice?” Alex shook her head again. John’s heart broke as he saw the slight change in her face. It pained her to think about that, and he saw it.

“How was your life before it happened?”

“It was pretty good. I was from a wealthy family. I had my brother Xander, my little brother Christian,my little sister Anastasia, and my parents. I had friends, and I even had a boyfriend. My life was together and then it was snatched from me.” Alex sighed to keep her from feeling too much about her past.

“How did it happen?”Alex‘s body stiffened. John noticed this and realized the question made her uncomfortable. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Alex looked up at him and saw that he was sincere. She looked back down at the floor and shook her head.

“No, it’s ok.” Alex said. She crossed her legs and looked up at him. “It was December 23^rd, 1632. I was helping my mom decorate the house for Christmas and we got into a fight.” Alex’s eyes started to fill with tears. She sniffled and continued. “I got angry, yelled at my mother, and stormed out into the night. It was freezing and very snowy outside. I just kept walking, and walking. I didn’t know I was in the woods until I smelled pine trees. I realized how far I was, and turned around to head back. I heard a twig snap on the side of me and looked around and saw nothing, so I kept walking. Then I heard another one and looked around and when I looked in front of me I saw crimson red eyes staring back at me deep in the darkness. I got scared, turned around and ran. I didn’t car where I went I just didn’t want it to get me. Then when I ended up in this clearing, I stopped running and thought he stopped chasing me.” Alex took a deep breath to gather herself and looked at the floor. She gulped and continued.

“I looked around and didn’t see anything. I heard another twig break and saw the eyes again. I saw a shadowy male figure step out from the woods and smile as he walked towards me. I froze and then screamed and he lunged at me and sank his teeth into my throat. I could feel him sucking on my neck as I slipped into unconsciousness.” Alex sniffled and John saw a single tear run down her cheek. There was nothing more he wanted that to leap out of the bed and console his hurting girlfriend.

“You ok Alex?” he asked sincerely. Alex looked at him and nodded. He didn’t know what to do, this was obviously upsetting her. “What happened afterwards?”

Once I regained consciousness later that night, I was dizzy and disoriented and freezing. He left me in the snow. I looked down and the pure white snow was sticky, red and tainted. There was blood everywhere, my blood.” She stressed the word ‘my’ while she choked back a sob. “I weakly made my way back home in the cold, using trees to prop me up whenever I got too weak.” She took another deep breath and paused. “When I made it home to my town I saw blood everywhere, bodies of people I knew were strewn across the ground, some in the snow, some on the roads, and some more in their houses. I rushed to my house and opened the front door. I looked down to see my entire family dead on the floor, slaughtered like livestock.”Alex shook at the thought and the image of that night crossed her mental vision.”I saw my sister, mother, and both my brothers with their throats ripped open. I turned to go back into the night for help when I heard a groan. I turned around and it was Xander. He was reaching trying to grab me from far away. I walked over to and lay next to him. I took his hand, knowing that now he was the only family had left and we both passed out. When we came to we were vampires. We cleaned the house, buried our family, and walked into the early morning with England, and our family behind us.”

“Wow, Alex. I didn’t know that that happened to you. I’d thought you were just bitten and moved on with your life.”

“Nope, I just pretended I was ok with it for Xander’s sake. He worries too much you know.” John looked out the window. He knew Xander was there in the parking lot, waiting, watching carefully to make sure nothing or no one interrupted them. John could only imagine what Xander was feeling right now.

“So when did Damien come in?” he asked. Alex looked up when she heard a small ting of hatred in his voice. Who could blame him? It was because of Damian (and herself for bringing him into this because she listened to her stupid emotions.) that he was here in the hospital. Alex sighed and continued on.

“Damian came in around June 1740, we met in Italy. Damian was cute and he seemed more comfortable with being a vampire, while Xander and I still resented who we had become. Damian was tempting and had his ways. He showed me it was ok to be who I was now, and humans, needed to fear and respect us because they were below us. Vampires were higher, better beings because we are immortal. I didn’t want to believe him; I still had faith in the human race, until that day came along.”

“What day?” John asked. He thought he sounded a little more interested than he should be.

“The day the humans betrayed me. The day I lost my faith in humanity and became a monster and just didn’t give a damn.” Alex started.

“What happened, Alex?”

“They locked me up.” She said flatly as she stared blankly at a spot on the wall.

“Who?”

“The vampire hunters.” She said still not moving her eyes from the spot on the wall. “They stormed our house one night because they followed Damian home after he killed some girl. Damian and Xander weren’t home so when they stormed the house they shot me with a silver bullet that knocked me out, and dragged me somewhere. When I finally came to I was hanging by my writs in a dark room, dark even for me, and I could hear screaming and rapid mumblings of spirits and the devil coming to murder people. I knew then where I was, I was in the insane asylum in town.” She shook at the memory. She heard a sound at the window and saw Xander in the tree by the window. He looked her in the eyes and Alex shook her head, and with that Xander was gone.

“What happened to you there? I mean, it had to be pretty bad for Xander to react like that after just a thought.” John said as he looked out the window.

“Yeah it was. They beat me, shot me, electrocuted me, and tortured me beyond all means of even a vampire’s tolerance of torture.” John raised an eyebrow and Alex knew exactly what he was thinking. “Yes vampires can feel pain. Especially after being staked numerous times and shot with silver bullets, after something like that we’re almost human. Anyway, they hated me for what I am, so they tortured me for it. They wanted to prove their “dominance” over me. One day three men came in laughing and carrying on. It was as if they were at a party. They smelled cigar smoke and wine. I will never forget that smell. One of them walked over to me and slapped me. He kissed me on the cheek and then my neck. His hot breath was on my shoulder.” Alex cringed, shook it off and continued. “My breathing started to become rapid, and then he put his hand on the waistband of my pants. I snapped. I kicked him in the balls and then snapped his neck with my legs when he was kneeling on the floor. I pulled whatever strength I had and released myself from the ropes. The other two men ran and I took that as a challenge. I ripped both of their throats open and drank ‘em both dry. When I opened the door Xander and Damian were in front of it. We walked out of the hospital into the night leaving nothing but a trail of bloodied and mangled dead bodies behind us. From that day forward I swore that humans had to pay for what they did to me, I didn’t care who they were, they were going to pay.” Alex looked at John and saw that he had a worried look on his face.

“So you were responsible for the Pacifica Mente Asylum massacre?” Alex nodded slowly.

“You must think I’m a monster huh?” she asked him shamefully.

“No, of course not Alex that was who you were, not who you are now. You were scarred, tortured, and violated. I would have done the same.” He gave her a reassuring nod and she felt as if she could continue. “What happened after that?”

“We wrecked havoc everywhere we went. We were the demonized harbingers of death, destruction, and chaos and we loved it. Eventually, Damian and I fell in love. We had a relationship full of passion, rage, and lust. It was something for the vampire ages, until I met Jacques.”

“Who was Jacques?”

“He was my first human boyfriend. We met in Paris. He really loved me. He accepted me for who I was.” Her voice started to quiver and she gulped down a large breathe of air to loosen the lump in her throat.”Damian hated that I moved on from him. We were together for 113 years, and he didn’t want that to end, especially not to a human. Damian went on a jealous rampage and killed anyone in his way, and he even convinced Xander to go along with it. Damian came to me and told me that Jacques never loved me, and that he was using me and was unfaithful. He took me to see him and I saw him hugging another woman. I couldn’t control my emotions and out of anger, took part in the blood filled rampage. When I cornered Jacques in an alley, I killed him.” Tears ran quickly down Alex’s cheek. She sniffled. “The last thing he said to me was ‘I love you’.”

“Wow , Alex.” was all John could say about what he heard. He was speechless to the fact that his girlfriend killed the one human man she loved, the same spot that he now filled in her heart. Alex looked up at John, her eyes pleading for something more to be said.

“After that I couldn’t live with what I did, so I left Xander and Damian. I traveled the world and every year visit the graves of my family, which were preserved because the massacre was famous, and my family was kind of a big deal. Xander and I marked our own graves, so people wouldn’t get suspicious. I visit my family, and then I go to Paris to visit Jacques grave. I feel like it helps me remember why I want to be good. I’ve gone to school and done the best that I could to shorten the time I spend around humans so I wouldn’t lose control. I was doing pretty well until Damian found me at school. That’s why I wasn’t there that day. I wasn’t sick, I had things to do to prepare. I don’t know what happened after that but all I know is that I have three personalities, Alex, Lexa, and Alexandria. Alexandria is the one you met and did all those horrible things back then. I tried to leave her behind, but she caught up with me. Now I’m scared that I can’t control anything and you might get hurt. I can’t take it if I lost control around you and something happened.” She looked up at John with her eyes full of tears. He motioned for her to come to him. Alex slowly walked over to him and sat next to him on the bed. She snuggled next to him and lay down. John stroked her hair and kissed her head. She felt safe, cared about, and human. What she was feeling scared her but she mentally shook it off.

“You know I’ve waited for you for over a year, you’re not going to get rid of me that easily. I don’t care about who you were in the past. I care about who you are now, that’s all that matters.” He whispered in her ear. She buried herself deeper into his embrace and decided to let the feelings of love and safety take over her as she fell asleep in John’s arms.